I’m the Kind of Customer That You Want

I keep to my stool
Don’t take up too much space.
Don’t talk while eating
I Never say grace

I’m not staring at the hostess.
Just an occasional glance.
I weaken each request
with ‘when you get a chance.’

When I get an idea
Don’t ask for napkin and pen.
Got my own writing tool
and a trusty Moleskine.

When you’re out of the special
I don’t make a big deal.
and I don’t make a big fuss
When you’re out of the deal.

Just cashed a paycheck
Out for a jaunt.
I’m the kind of customer
that you want.

I’ve dated one or two servers.
We remain good friends.
I went to school with Larry
Mondays he bartends.

You play really cool music.
Here, you can have this CD.
Oh, this place uses iPod?
Well, keep it, have it for free.

I’m usually here with a group.
Talk ’bout global affairs.
I think we meet Tuesdays
Yall give us a table upstairs.

Have ya noticed how I’m tipping?
Must think I’m Heaven sent..
I never ever
go below 20 percent.

Show me that you know it
with a no-fee croissant.
I’m the kind of customer
that you want.

Backpackers straggle down
in through the doorway.
Don’t worry bout not taking Visa
they don’t have it anyways.

Some of these folks
just wanted to get out of the sun.
A glass of ice water’s
there idea of a cold one.

I know what you have on draft.
I don’t need to be told.
I saw you bring up the Harp.
Consider it sold.

No matter what I’ve ordered
No matter how much I’ve spent.
You know that I’m good
for at least twenty percent.

I don’t beg for food.
Not needy and gaunt.
I’m the kind of customer
that you want.

I’m coool.
(Cool).
Courteous
(Courteous)
Not an accidental
Inconsiderate Tourist.

I’m a lonely deferential menu savant.
I’m the kind of customer that you want.

I’m the kind of customer
(I’m the kind of customer)
I’m the kind of customer
(I’m the kind of customer)

Show me that you know it
with a no-fee croissant
I’m the kind of customer…

……. that you W A N T !